Tragedy, Travesty, Transcendence

PotD #2

2007-07-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

Camping in Pine Lake was really good this weekend, if only for over night. We were right next to the water (RIGHT NEXT... not even across the road). This one magically appeared outta nowhere to take the daily top-honours. I'll let you be the judge tho'.

Btw, if you wanna keep track of my (our) outings and general life happenings, Christine's web album is the place for that; my experiments are mostly on this blog and here. Adios for now.

PotD #1

2007-07-20T21:32:00.001-07:00

Now that I've gotten a nice ultra zoom camera for my birthday (early), I've sworn I'll take more pictures. And true to form, I have to try and be artistic about it. So here goes. 1 of 1 so far.

QotD #2 & #3

2007-06-25T19:55:00.000-07:00

"Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it."

"The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected."

-- G.K. Chesteron

Day 3

2007-05-24T15:39:00.001-07:00

So here I am fasting... no food, no juice, just water -- oh, and I'm allowing myself two mannatech products before I go to work and one before I go to bed (plus/ambrotose & sport, respectively). I've done this once before when I was trying to determine whether I should continue to pursue Christine (who's now my fiancee). At that time I was able to go for 8 days, but then broke fast when I realized that I had a hockey tournament to go to and I would need food for energy. Since then I've not been able to go a single whole day without sustenance. Oh, I've tried -- but it obviously isn't within my power to do. But either way, here I go again. After traveling to Fort Nelson for May long weekend (up with my parents on Friday, back in their VW Cabriolet on Monday, with hopes to sell it here in Red Deer for them) I felt it was time to once again attempt to overcome my slavery to food. Not that I'm addicted or abusive or anything like that. But truly, food is something that can become the master of your life -- and maybe even a security blanket. More on that in later posts. Here I am 2/3rd's the way through day three; which just happens to be the day when all the food remaining in your digestive tract is finally gone. Day three is the first hurdle... you really start to feel the need to eat, not just the want or desire out of habit. I imagine it's like trying to stop smoking, kick drugs or quit coffee. You might say I'm going through food withdrawl.

Quote of the Day (QotD) #1

2007-03-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

“To claim that you’re refusing to help someone because you follow the teachings of Jesus Christ is like saying that you’re going to volunteer at the Jewish community center because you follow the teachings of Hitler.”

XIV: Family

2006-12-01T23:38:00.000-08:00

In a small apartment,
Living in close quarters,
Only the essentials,
It seems we struggle on,
and on.

Tattered shoes and skinned knees,

Don’t mean tattered hopes and dreams,

Picture perfect couldn’t save us,

Even if you could make us,

want to.

Life will still bring pain and suff’ring,

Should we all wear diamond rings,
…and tailored suits and flowing gowns…

Tattered shoes and skinned knees,
Don’t mean tattered hopes and broken dreams,

[incomplete -- WIP]

[lucky] 13

2006-10-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

Here I am sitting at work, browsing through news items ... I see a post about opponents of a Georgia sex-offender law. Apparently, they're "launching an offensive" to combat this bill, part of which is designed to restrict where sex-offenders can live -- specifically those currently residing within 1000' of a church. My first thought is, "Who is Pro-Sex-Offender? Who isn't concerned with the safety of our children and would rather a deviant be allowed to roam free, left to their own devices?" Of course, then I went on to realize that in this twisted, governed world, we have to fight for the rights of others lest we have our own rights removed without opposition one day. Now, let me just say that I feel justified in NOT grouping myself in with convicted sex-offenders. Not that I have more worth as a person, but I have not made (by the grace of God, I s'pose) the same mistakes, ergo I do not have to pay the consequences. So the simile breaks down in this regard. Still, it troubles me that we would have to fight along side undesirables -- not the poverty-stricken, fatherless, mentally-challenged, or even the repented "sinner" who are justifiably so, but the sordid, destructive, angry, selfish reprobate whose vile deeds are only outpaced by their remorseless debauchery.

That, to me, is indicative that it is time to stop beating a dead horse, let sleeping dogs lie and move on, in the same manner as those who left everything and sailed west to find a new world.

Twelve

2006-02-24T16:03:00.000-08:00

How To Induce Change (a work in progress):

1) Look 'em in the eye.
2) Slice to the core of the issue; be razor sharp and penetrating, but with a smile and in a *meek* way (you can say anything with a smile). The words gotta bely your intentions to 'not-take-it-lying-down' whilst your tone and interaction with them at a spiritual/emotional level does not communicate hate or malice in any way.
3) Articulate your concerns and then let them think it over. Don't expect an answer right away and don't over stay your welcome (better to leave 10 minutes early than stay 5 minutes late).

...

Don't EVER bank with Scotiabank!

2006-02-21T15:41:00.000-08:00

Apparently, getting a secured Visa is just as hard as an un-secured one. You actually have to pay $600 to have a $500 credit-limit and they need to verify your income to prove you can actually pay your bill (um guys.. I'm already giving you more than I can charge up... heard of a credit-LIMIT, right?). And if you don't meet their criteria they will insult your choice of lifestyle and berate you until you "start jumping through the hoops like a normal person". Great sales pitch guys. You *win*

------

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Jeremy Coté and I have an account with Scotiabank. I do all my banking through Scotiabank and have for the past year and a half. I recently met with the credit officer at the Fort Nelson branch of Scotiabank. I am disappointed to say that this encounter was probably the worst encounter I have ever had in a bank. I walked in there quite hopeful about acquiring a VISA and I walked out feeling like I was the lowest, least-significant, most useless member of society that has ever or will ever walk the earth. I realize that I may not fit all the qualifications to a "T" in regards to obtaining a VISA, but my choice of lifestyle and my personal beliefs should not be played down so vehemently, especially in a business that relies so much on customer satisfaction and service. Whether or not I choose to jump through all the hoops and have the picture-perfect credit history is up to me. If that makes me a non-candidate for the services your bank offers, so be it; but there is no need to degrade me as a person because of my decisions and choices. I have never felt so belittled and marginalized, never mind as a direct result of my interactions with a customer service representative. This person has previously done business with my father as well and I feel that she unfairly judged my character and had negative perceptions of my goals and values because of the aforementioned business relationship. Needless to say, I will be canceling my account with Scotiabank and will not be banking with you ever again. This has left a taste so sour in my mouth that I will recommend all my friends and acquaintances steer clear of Scotiabank in the future.

Sincerely,

Jeremy S. Coté

mailto: mail.president@scotiabank.com
------

TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

Eleven

2005-12-17T01:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas was initiated by a gift given to humanity because we needed. Death awaited us all and no one was exempt. But then came a sacrificial offering that took the death upon Himself in our stead.

Now, Christmas is about "how much money are we gonna budget" for buying, at best, meaningless conveniences and trinkets for our family, friends, neighbors and coworkers. How much extra do we have to spend this year. How far removed we are from the origin of humanity's rebirth.

Remember the wonder and excitement of waking up on December 25th, getting out of bed as early as you could get away with and tiptoeing tremblingly to the tree hardly able to contain yourself? And all this motivated by something that is far inferior to its archetypal counterpart. I do not believe we give these mostly shallow and finite gifts to our children to teach them to live in this world, but can we not bestow upon them something infinitely greater? Were we given a smooth, easy life here on this earth... or were we given a perfect transfiguration that will never be tarnished or ever fade? With this in mind, how much greater will our astonishment and joy be when incited by something with true meaning and lasting effects?

-----

Instead, I proffer we spend our Christmas season -- the month of December up until Christmas day -- seeking out a need that we can fill; individually. Whether it be a monetary gift or a service that can be provide to someone who cannot. Then on the 25th let us celebrate that which inspired us to these wholly benevolent acts none of us alone are capable of.

Don't get me wrong. I am not anti-Christmas in a new, cutting-edge way (are you thinking "Grinch 2.0"?). I do not sneer at the effort and the good intention that is annually reawakened and renewed by this hallowed of seasons. But are we settling for something good, either because we do not know or do not care to think of the possibilities, in lieu of something that should be spectacular.

Puppies!

2005-12-06T14:09:00.000-08:00

10 puppies! 9:30AM! (why me?!). Yesterday after my mom left for work I awoke to the mewling of a lone puppy lying in the middle of the floor, still attached to its placenta. Where was my dog? I dunno, but I went searching all over the house. Most of the doors were closed, so I wasn't sure where she could be. Back in the basement, huddled inside a half-closed closet a few feet from where the puppy lay was Chelsea, shaking and probably wondering, "What's going on *whimper*?" Unfortunately for her, she was in labour until the evening -- a puppy every half hour or so. Then when my mom got home I realized that one of them had it's umbilical cord pulled off and there was a hole in its abdomen where the cord used to be. There were intestines poking thru', so we took it to a doctor (b/c there are not vets residing in Fort Nelson). Apparently the abdomen wall was not fully developed and the puppy was unsaveable. If there's one thing I hate it is when the underdog (no pun intended) doesn't win. So that leaves 9. But, whilst we were away apparently Chelsea decided she wanted 10, for when I got back from work last night there were 10 puppies again!

X

2005-12-04T12:59:00.000-08:00

I fell thru' the ice
as the freezing water
surrounded my body

I could not see
but I could remember
your face looking back at me

Your beauty warms me
from my head to my toes
it helps me forget life
and nobody know; just how much
Your beauty warms me
and I cannot live without you.

Nine

2005-11-30T18:40:00.000-08:00

my friend whose parents were missionaries and are still involved (somehow; I'm not too sure how) told me that her mom wanted me to go over to India b/c there's a couple there that needs someone who knows about computers and other techie stuff... music equip etc.

kinda threw me off. Haven't ever really thought seriously about opportunities like that.

last week I had a serious invitation from the pastor who used to be up here that now lives in Calgary for a place to live if I wanted to go to bible college down there...

so I thought about that a little

and now this

wonder if I'm supposed to do something like that

(never would've wanted to when I was younger and looking forward at my life as I wanted it to be)

I'm getting pretty tired of the situation that western culture is in.

people being so negative t'wards morality and values that the country was founded on, even tho' it's what is allowing EVERYONE to live such a cushy, opportunity-laden life.

it's starting to get to me like I never expected it would.

Actually thinking about it from their perspective.

seriously, how legitimate does a faith-based system seem when looking at it from a humanistically-logical perspective?

doubts. things I'd never even thought twice about b4

but everything is so hopeless the farther down this road that [western] society is taking us.

I guess I'm just worried by where western civ is going -- it can't be too long until it's back to the persecution

burgeoning nations are where there is receptivity (is that even a word?) and growth. Tho' it's still difficult in some, I'm sure that the people there who are doing "the work" are not having the same stagnation, losing-sight-of-what's-important issues as we are here.

I think it'd certainly be a test, but I like to think I could do it.

Then I wouldn't have so many of these creature-comforts hanging over my head suppressing my true desires.

Eight

2005-11-17T21:39:00.000-08:00

[In reference to my previous post's topic]:

I think A LOT of guys do things by instinct. Whatever they don't do by instinct they do without delving into it or discussing 'how it makes them feel' b/c that is an acceptably 'girly thing to do'. Therefore, I submit that many many guys go through a lot of these things. But, I realize that in realtionships there is usually one who runs the show and one who accomodates -- it is not gender specific and can be man or women in either role.

Seven

2005-11-04T22:07:00.000-08:00

Laziness; I like to think of it more in terms of a lack of creative energy. Everyone only has so much energy to do things that aren't either instinct or habit; those things are usually centered around creative things like finding solutions at work, managing relationships and artistic stuff etc. I seem to have the least stamina in physical areas (sports have proven that) and the least creative energy (which is like mental stamina).

--

You start to become a man when you realize that you can only get so much from the woman who loves you. Her needs supercede your needs; her health more important than yours. If you need to be loved and adored and fawned over chances are she is overtired and just needs to sleep. You could start an argument by telling her how much you wish that she would just do this for you; then she may end up having to be the strong one putting herself out for you -- but is it not the man who is strong and needs to be strong for his beautiful companion? Is this how it starts? Is this why married men have a lack of energy? Is this why they walk around with slumped shoulders and only get excited on the way to the weekly rendezvous with their mistress? Is it what gives them the cold, hard exterior that their kids can only penetrate at birth or a wedding? Do we all end up this way; one way or another...

Six

2005-10-06T15:34:00.000-07:00

I was thinking last night that real art is only real if the artist does not force it. Thus, people who _do art_ for a living -- or are "artists" because that is all they do -- well, their art really doesn't qualify. I am only interested in art that is 100% inspiration. And this can only be achieved by allowing it to breathe, not beating it to death. Only a person who allows their art to be pure and unforced is capable of creating this. And only when they are truly inspired.

V: the.will.to.live

2005-09-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

Where did you go?

I’ve been missing you -- I think

But I don’t even know what you feel like.

Just to get a touch, a taste, a smell

I would cry if I knew you existed

You are treason to myself

Where did you go?

Just to get a touch, a taste a smell

Is more than enough; still is my lust

Must I abandon in search of hell

To get a touch, a taste, a smell -- just.
/
/
--

Just to get a touch, a taste a smell

Is more than enough; still is my lust

Must I abandon in search of hell

To have

To get a touch, a taste, a smell – to just

--
/
/

2005-04-01T21:32:00.000-08:00

-- Something that MadMack drew --

2005-04-01T21:29:00.000-08:00

-- Christine whom I love. --

Four

2005-03-21T19:33:00.000-08:00

Even tho' I don't want to feel down, even tho' I don't want to respond to the stimuli that is dragging me down, even tho' I will not dignify the accusations that prove I must feel like a let-down ... I cannot do anything but flounder.

3

2005-02-20T16:28:00.000-08:00

Finally back at a computer with a little bit of time today. I've been sitting at my cousin's for almost 2 hours looking up email addresses for studios here in the lower mainland and then emailing them a generic "please hire me" email. Oh yes. I'm VERY proud of myself. Especially the fact that I've put off for so long doing this first SIMPLE STEP! That and I've been tryin'a download an episode of the O.C. that I missed, and also trying to figure out my new phone (cell phones and MSN Messenger should work much more smoothly together... I don't get it). Oh, and when I got here my cousin was playing on his computer and then I heard from his wife that they were going to another of my cousin's places for dinner (about an hour away). So I was gonna go, but I don't feel like spending money for gas to get there and back. Yeah, they left a while ago and have two carseats in the back seat, so there was no room. Meh. It's given me a nice little while to feed my online-addiction -- being online, that is.

Another point of contention that I'd like to talk about -- my back is killin' me. Stupid construction work. I guess it really IS the thing that's gotten me off my butt and out of my humdrum routine of boring ol' life and at least onto a computer to start emailing some places (20+ today, I might add). But it still sucks.

A nice plus: a positive thing of late --> I got a new cell phone. I traded my Rogers one in for a Telus one (some deal they had going on) and it's got a camera that takes stills and short video clips. Plus, now I'll be able to actually use it up north when I come home. Oh, and I bought one for Christine too, so now we'll be able to talk more (for the last month+ that I'm down here).

So I read "Till We Have Faces" by CS Lewis last week. Borrowed it from my cousin (he's a theology major, working on his Masters in New Testament). I read it in three sittings. After the first sitting (up to chapter 8) I was about ready to pack it in. A really heavy story that was only made heavier by issues and situations that I've been facing a lot lately. By the time I finally put it down I was quite choked up. Took me a couple days to slink back to the book and read another 7 chapters. Really a different twist at that point. Some things that I was furious with in the first part were changed, but it really wasn't any lighter or easier to take. CS Lewis also writes at a very high level, it seems to me. That coupled with the fact that he wrote it in the '50s in England makes him a little hard to understand. I reread quite a few sentances b/c he left out little words that would've given clearer direction as to which direction he was talking (I really can't nail down what the problem is, so I'm just gonna be vague -- like that). But sooner or later I got it. Then when I finally got back to reading it again, I finished it. But not without a fair share of emotional overflowing (my highbrow, more manly way of talking about crying). It was very freeing to have it over and to have no loose ends left. Tough subjects, some harsh realizations, some things that make (or made, I should hope) me frustrated with the seeming impossibility of living life with any certainty about anything and who's right and wrong etc etc etc. Why yes, I do take the burden of the world on my shoulders, thank you. It's a retelling of the Greek myth of Psyche and Eros (Cupid). He really focuses on an entirely different aspect of the story and changes the main character. But it was incredible nonetheless. I've often wondered about his "salvation" and just how people I know, my parents, other noteably 'judgemental' people would see his life and choices and beliefs were he to live today. He doesn't write overtly Christian-like. Obviously he touches on themes that are spiritual in nature and even theologically 'sound', but my theory is that anyone who searches and studies something will end up sounding very close to what God and the Bible say b/c the world was created a certain way, and if you end up digging to the truth you're just figuring out what we've been told and grown up hearing (in some ways, anyway... not the more twisted aspects of modern religious culture etc...). That's my deepest thought for the day anyway.

Two

2005-01-29T19:22:00.000-08:00

"... her upbringing has cast a shadow on her life that has become part of her destiny now."

I've really been unsure of how much what your upbringing has created in you is 'allowed' to change. How much can you be changed by your or (more likely) outside efforts? How much of your parents mistakes and imperfections (which are going to happen and are just a fact of life, not an excuse to blame) are going to be visited on the rest of your life b/c it is the burden that you have been chosen to bear? I'd like to trust in peoples' ability to change and be changed b/c otherwise the world would be a very mundane, predictable place; but how much is too much to expect? Surely there are things that are just part of the picture now that should not be expected to go away ... soon or ever. And I should be content. But I'm hopeful. Even tho' I don't have faith and am a bit (or a lot) pessimistic I would like to believe in the power of change and that things don't have to remain the way they are and have always been.

PS -> if you put a hat on... and you look in the mirror and it's not straight (the design on the front or whatever) and you use both hands to turn it whilst upon your head... what does it feel like? All twisted like it is on completely wrong, right? But the hat is actually finally on straight and it just takes a while to get your mind wapped around that idea. You just have to leave it and forget that it felt differently. Similarly, with ideas that you've been brought up with ... if you put it on twisted (ie your upbringing), once it gets straightened, it'll feel wrong for a while -- you may even reject it. But that doesn't make it any less right, and sooner or later you'll be able to wrap your mind around it (God-willing, not to be TOO cliched). If you had no frame of reference (the mirror), if someone were to come up to you and grab you by the head and straighten your hat for you... you would've had no idea it was skewed; and now 'apparently' it's right; but you haven't really got any point of reference except how it felt before compared to now.

One

2005-01-29T17:29:00.000-08:00

Well, thanks to my good friend whose nickname is blondeangel (check out her's at http://soblondeisblonde.blogspot.com/) ... I was introduced to this. So now I've got a place to 'blog'. A much more 'appropriate' term than BS, but less educated than philosophize. Maybe I'll work my way up to that. Now all I need is an internet connection where I'm staying and I'll be good to go. I'm only staying there until the end of March tho' -- after that I'll be on constantly (previous acquaintances can vouch for the fact that when I have access to the net I am indeed on all the time). I'm temporarily in Abbotsford, working construction with my cousin and looking for a studio that'll hire me (fyi: I'm into music; went to school for Audio Engineering; wanna work in a recording studio/produce/make my own music). I'm visiting a friend in Tsawwassen (lower mainland BC) tonite. I got to walk on the beach by the ocean and stand within sight of the US. Take that ;) I tried to find some seashells that were cool that would inspire me for something for Valentine's Day ... buuuut ...I've got nothin'. Anyways. That's entirely boring and shallow so before I make less of a reputation for myself I shall be off.